Dear Unchosen Met Gala Headdress, You’re My BFF In My Head.
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Okay, so - it was the first Monday in May. What does that mean and who cares? Well, if you aren’t the consummate consumer of celebrity anything or you have stuff to do, it’s the day of the annual Met Gala. Basically, a confluence of celebs at the invitation (um, I’m pretty sure’ish) of Anna Wintour, descend upon us to show the world what they picked out to wear that day. That’s all.
Oh, yeah – I forgot to mention, s**t gets crazy! And by that, I mean crazy editorial-style garments that can pass for a sculpture one might already find within the Met itself. Every year the event has an overall theme/subject. This year’s was “Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination”, which I thought to myself – um, okay … cool?
So who is my new made up Best Friend?
That would be the lonely headdress that did not get chosen. What the hell am I talking about, you ask? Well, if you take a look at some of the red carpet photos you will see what I saw, a lot of headdresses. I’m not talking about demure little fascinators or a cute hat here and there, à la the Duchess of Cambridge. I am talking about, full-on, attached-to-your-face sculptural headdresses; something out of a National Geographic or a world history class. So, I got to think’n – I wonder which poor headdress didn’t get chosen and why? Tears….
Now, I assume the sudden onslaught of head-coverings at this year’s Met Gala is in reference to the ornate head coverings worn by Popes throughout history. But, for some reason, I do think had #popewear2018 not happened, some stylist/designer out there would still feel that unmistakable urge to dress their client up as an outdated marionette all in the name of houte couture.
And that, my dear, is why that not chosen headdress has to be my new best friend in my head!
Dear Not Good Enough Met Gala Headdress,
I know what you must be thinking – sitting there, all by your lonesome in some unnamed stylist’s studio, “why wasn’t I chosen – what did I do wrong?” Well, honey bear; it wasn’t your entire fault. You did everything you could. You made sure to be adequately obtrusive and generally off-putting to those around you, while at the same time causing one to think, “ :/ ”?
But never fear, I am here. I will take you into my bosom and show you the world (or just the one or two people who are reading this) that your life is not over. It is just beginning, my sweet. As your new best friend I will defend you to the second coming and fight anyone who tries to cast you aside again. We will ride off into the sunset together. Just you and me on that red carpet in the sky - which neither of us will ever have the chance to step foot on in real life. Xoxo.